Kids Say the Darndest Things - Season 1

First aired: 10/6/2019 12 episodes

Episodes

1. You’re Famous, But You Ain’t All That

Aired: 10/6/2019

The premiere episode’s first guests include a panel of future rock princesses that question her friendship with one of their favorite musicians, two 6-year-olds discuss all the weird things grown-ups do and a musical prodigy that has Tiffany singing the blues. Later, Tiffany convinces some kids to film a commercial for her fake product, She Ready Dessert Ketchup.

2. Taylor Swift is My Friend

Aired: 10/13/2019

Kids these days are mature beyond their years. This week, we meet a 3-year-old makeup artist, a 7-year-old with his own ball-cleaning business and a 10-year-old who helps Tiffany make nice with her ex-boyfriend. Over drinks in New York City, a trio of Shirley Temple-sipping girls give Tiffany advice about reconciling with an estranged friend, and the three Taylor Swift superfans from episode one are treated to the biggest surprise of their lives.

3. Dad, plug your ears!

Aired: 10/20/2019

This week’s extraordinary kids include an 11-year-old aspiring comedian who tries to take Tiffany’s job, a 9-year-old yodeler and a fast-talking energetic 7-year-old. Later, Tiffany asks an 11-year-old to fire someone on her staff (guest star Rob Huebel); takes a group of kids on a tour of her latest art installation, “She Art, By Tiffany Haddish”; and meets some kids from Harlem who teach her how to double dutch, east coast style.

4. Stick It to 'Em

Aired: 10/27/2019

A pair of tight-lipped siblings; a pianist from Okinawa, Japan; and a trio of girls who give Tiffany tips about what to look for in a boyfriend. Also: budding comedian Evan returns to share some breaking news with Kevin Frazier ("Entertainment Tonight").

5. Marriage Seems Like a Huge Commitment

Aired: 11/3/2019

A couple of youngsters fall in love at first sight; young string instrument virtuosos wow the crowd with a lively performance. Also: a 9-year-old aspiring talk-show host.

6. You've Been Lying to Your Momma?

Aired: 11/10/2019

Kids come in all shapes, sizes and ages. This week, we meet some kids with slick dance moves, a germaphobe, a child whose age fluctuates according to the price of a kid's meal and a 10-year-old college student. Later, Tiffany meets a senior citizen who says the darndest things.

7. Turkey in Space

Aired: 11/17/2019

In a special Thanksgiving-themed episode, Tiffany shares her favorite Turkey Day traditions and films an infomercial for "Gobble Gobble Wrapping Paper" with kids who frantically gift wrap everything from Thanksgiving leftovers to a live turkey. Later, Tiffany and an 8-year-old girl pitch movie ideas to her big shot Hollywood director friend Jack McBrayer.

8. Could I have a $20, Dad?

Aired: 12/8/2019

This week, we meet some adorable kids who discuss the pros and cons of having siblings, an 11-year-old aerialist phenom and some youngsters who are tasked with keeping an extremely exhausted Tiffany awake. Additionally, Tiffany is on carpool duty and finds herself in a precarious situation with the police.

9. Santa's Got a Six Pack

Aired: 12/22/2019

On a special holiday episode, Tiffany chats with kids about their favorite holiday traditions. Later, Tiffany plays Santa's helper to find out who is on the "nice list" and celebrates an 8-year-old magician who proves that big tricks can come in small packages.

10. She's Totally Not Ready

Aired: 1/5/2020

This week, Tiffany chats with a panel of sassy girls who give advice on dealing with boys, stuns a brilliant boy with her illogical ideas about traveling to the sun, and plays catch with an 8-year-old who happens to be the only girl on her baseball team. Later, a 10-year-old who poses as Tiffany is forced to make some tough business decisions on her behalf.

11. A Thousand Thumbs Up!

Aired: 1/12/2020

"A Thousand Thumbs Up!" – This week, Brooklyn's youngest and toughest food critic goes on a culinary adventure at a Michelin star-rated restaurant; a group of kids break down the best way to eat pizza; and Tiffany goes toe-to-toe with a young chess player. Later, an aspiring entomologist shows off her cockroach collection, and a virtual assistant named Tiff stirs up trouble with some rebellious young boys.

12. My Work is Done

Aired: 1/19/2020

Host Tiffany Haddish takes a look back at some of the most LOL moments of the season. Also, 7-year-old aspiring FBI agent Clark gets a crash course in forensic science, interrogation, handcuffing and more at the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia, on the season finale of "Kids Say the Darndest Things."