Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps - Season 5

First aired: 1/2/2005 14 episodes

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Episodes

1. Dead

Aired: 1/2/2005

It's the day of the funeral - and our Jonny is there in the wheelchair. He may have survived, but that meant the loss of another character - Donna's mother Flo. Jonny is famous after his shooting, and is determined to milk it for all he can. Meanwhile, Gaz's ""impotence"" problem has returned, if only he could get rid of it the way he did before. Louise spends the night in a cell for messing with Jonny's records.

2. Nobbly Bobbly

Aired: 1/9/2005

Donna has recieved some exciting news, her Mother left her house in her will. But Gaz isn't best pleased, as he believes Flo still haunts the cupboard under the stairs. Louise goes to see a psychaitrist for messing with Jonny's record, turns out she was trying to save him from finding out Gaz and Janet had slept with each other. But will she tell Jonny? Speaking of which, Jonny has a very important question for Janet...

3. Shrink

Aired: 1/16/2005

Louise is threatening to tell Donna and Jonny about when Janet and Gaz...y'know, did it. This come at the worst possible time for Janet as Jonny has just proposed to her again, but nobody bothers to take an interest. Donna's had her Mum's house valued at £99,000 and plans a hiking trip to Ecuador, Wales with Gaz. Janet has news of her own, she's pregnant. Jonny is delighted, but Gaz has just accidentally revealed his secret to Donna...

4. Ecuador

Aired: 1/23/2005

Furious with Gaz for sleeping with Janet, Donna walks out, she can't bring herself to forgive either of them. Jonny has a present from Gaz, a £100 car, that he names Herbie. Louise has to get Jonny to forgive her for getting him shot to her solicitor, so black mails him, he doesn't go with it so she puts poor Herbie under the crusher! Donna is on her way to Ecuador without Gaz, can Janet stop her?

5. Potato People

Aired: 1/30/2005

Jonny and Louise get into trouble with some rampaging kids. Donna and Kelly team up to give Gaz a sexual surprise. Janet tries to get Donna to forgive her for sleeping with Gaz.

6. Antlers

Aired: 2/6/2005

It's Jonny's Stag Night and Gaz's plans for the Night don't quite go to plan. Meanwhile, Louise tryies to make Janet's Hen Party one of the Wildest ever.

7. Crab

Aired: 2/13/2005

It's the day of Jonny's and Janet wedding, and they're nowhere to be found! Gaz and Donna rush off looking for them. Gaz thinks he left Jonny tied to a lamppost, but the barmaid took him down. Jonny and Janet are stuck in a Tesco's van. They wake up in their wedding outfits, and have no idea why they're there. Meanwhile Gaz and Donna pretend to be Jonny and Janet, so they still can get married. Luckily, the Tesco van ends up at their wedding, and Janet and Jonny finally get married.

8. Fat

Aired: 2/20/2005

Five months after Jonny and Janet got married, Donna and Gaz are still not talking. Donna has moved up in the bucket world, and is on a mission to sell 4,000 buckets in 5 days. While out, she finds out Gaz, who she has not seen for 5 months, has gained weight since they last saw each other. In attempts to get Donna back, Gaz finds an interesting way to loose weight. Meanwhile, Janet fears that her nesting instinct will never kick in, however Louise and a group of ""chavettes"" help her come to her senses...

9. Stot or Pronk

Aired: 2/27/2005

Janet shows off at the pub quiz. Gaz spanks his monkey. And Donna tries to impress Gaz with a facelift.

10. Who's the Daddy?

Aired: 3/6/2005

In the last episode Gaz just got ran over by the ambulance which was going to Janets house. While Janet is in labour, she can't find Jonny! Jonny then sees Gaz being put in the ambulance, and when Jonny sees Gaz, Gaz tells him to look after the baby as if it was his! Jonny is stunned to find out that Gaz is the father. Meanwhile Louise has to bring Janet to the hospital and Jonny meets Janet there. First he hated the baby and Janet, but after spending some time with them he changes his mind. And at the end Gaz and Donna finally got back together.

11. BaBaBaBaBa

Aired: 3/13/2005

When Janet becomes a baby bore Jonny takes drastic action to get her attention. Louise tries to bag herself one of Kelly's fellas. Donna and Gaz try their hand at babysitting.

12. God

Aired: 3/20/2005

Due to a rainstorm stopping, Louise begins to think she is God. Meanwhile, Johnny tries to teach Corinthian about biscuits and how to be a man, and Janet thinks about a Christening.

13. Love 83199

Aired: 3/29/2005

Jonny bids for a chance at his dream job. Gaz and Donna find their dream house. Louise dates her mobile phone and finally gets herself an amazing boyfriend

14. Near, Far

Aired: 4/3/2005

In the last episode, Jonny was hoping to get the job at the biscuit factory and Gaz and Donna were hoping to get a house in the country side. Meanwhile Janet got offered a job on a cruise ship singing. There are high sprits going on in group as their all starting new lives. Unfortunately Jonny didn't get the job, there were sheep everywhere around Gaz and Donna's new house. And also Janet didn't know wether to take the job or not because she would have to leave the next day.