Aired: 1/5/2017
If your picture’s a selfie it looks like you don’t have friends.
Aired: 1/10/2017
Pretty much exactly as awesome as it sounds.
Aired: 1/12/2017
The twirling spaghetti fork pairs exceptionally well with the wine purse.
Aired: 1/13/2017
Shirtless bro pics are always a red herring.
Aired: 1/17/2017
Don’t forget: this will still be a destructive, constantly shitting nightmare.
Aired: 1/19/2017
Everyone knows the pants wiener is inflated by massaging on the private areas.
Aired: 1/28/2017
Don’t worry – it’s so easy, there’s literally no reason not to do it, you entitled piece of sh*t.
Aired: 2/7/2017
The truth is powerful, and it takes constant vigilance to drown out that truth with noise.
Aired: 2/17/2017
A party guest most foul.
Just like the momentary distraction your mom used to make!
Aired: 3/3/2017
When it comes to make-up, less is muhhrrrrrrrg.
Aired: 3/8/2017
Audition? What’s that, some sort of exciting new Ford truck model?
Aired: 3/9/2017
Doing your taxes is easy if you make stuff up.
Aired: 3/23/2017
Legend has it people used to tweet tiny, comical stories, known colloquially as “jokes” or “goofs”.
Aired: 4/1/2017
I told you “Kazaam” was a different movie!
Aired: 4/14/2017
You can’t handle the merch booth.
Aired: 5/13/2017
It’s healthier to cook for yourself! Right?
Aired: 4/20/2017
I’ll have the “corking fee”.
Aired: 4/29/2017
Take that, student loans!
Aired: 5/4/2017
Oh, a problem with my account? Well, prepare for a tantrum that blames you personally.
Aired: 6/20/2017
Dream Phone was SO heteronormative.
Aired: 6/27/2017
He eats lighters.
Aired: 5/27/2017
What’s a couple hours of sleep every night for love?
Aired: 5/25/2017
Boy meets grill.
Aired: 6/18/2017
Why don’t we both get something, and we can share?
Aired: 6/22/2017
Oh, yeah, fit that injured puppy with a lil’ prosthetic leg.
Aired: 8/3/2017
Is this blackmailer’s evidence of you looking fucking hot or committing a crime?
Aired: 8/12/2017
Ok, they’re gay. Now, for a super chill, totally laid-back way to just like CASUALLY hint that you are too or whatever.
Aired: 8/19/2017
New from Chompsky’s: All the shameful self-hatred of eating peanut butter with a spoon, in the convenience of a potato chip!
Aired: 8/22/2017
Sure, it’s a little messy, but there are so many places to ash!