You Can't Do That on Television - Season 3

First aired: 3/17/1982 13 episodes
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Episodes

Episode 1

1. Cosmetics

Aired: 3/17/1982

The Incredible Hulk Runs out of Deodorant will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine brings in a box of cosmetics and explains the use of each one. She offers advise about the dangers of using corn chip flavored lipstick.

2. Addictions

Aired: 3/24/1982

Pacman Eats General Hospital will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine plays ATARI for the entire show, thus demonstrating how video games are addictive. In the sketches, many references are made to the soap General Hospital, and how addictive that is.

3. Popularity

Aired: 3/31/1982

The Most Popular Kids Show on Television will not be seen at this time so that we may present… Ross holds a ""phone-in"" contest to see which cast member is the most popular. All the kids wear numbers so that viewers can clarify their voting. At the halfway point, Kevin (wearing 111) is first. In an attempt to get more votes, Christine trades her ballot number (872) for a lower number (0). In the end, Zilch (Darryl) wins the contest even though he wasn't in this episode. They discover he won because Christine wore his number zero.

4. Fads & Fashion

Aired: 4/7/1982

Fred Sanford: World's Best Dressed Man will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast attempts to keep up with the latest fashions, which change about every two minutes.

5. Vacations

Aired: 4/14/1982

The Love Boat Runs Aground Fantasy Island will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine goes on a trip to the beach to relax, only to run into the entire cast and crew of YCDTOTV, who are filming an episode.

6. Rip-Offs

Aired: 4/21/1982

The Price is Right Raises their Prices will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Things around the set begin to malfunction. The risers collapse and the set begins to collapse. In the end, the entire studio collapses.

7. Bullying

Aired: 5/5/1982

Mr. Rogers Bullies the Neighborhood will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine takes a self-defense class in order to protect herself from bullying from the other cast members.

8. Culture Junk

Aired: 5/12/1982

Big Bird Dances Swan Lake will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast examines plays, literature, music, art, and theater. Christine is introduced to ""water music"".

9. Television

Aired: 7/7/1982

You Can't Do That on Television cannot be seen at this time because…we couldn't do it. In its place, we present a show about television. Christine explains what goes on behind the scenes of a TV show. Along the way she gets every possible kind of slime dumped on her (and Vanessa).

10. Sports

Aired: 7/14/1982

Howard Cosell Loses His Voice will not be seen because…nobody could be that lucky. Christine and Lisa host the show like sports commentators. Throughout the program, Christine tries a really bad Howard Cosell accent.

11. Heroes

Aired: 7/21/1982

Conan the Librarian will not be seen at this time so that we may present... The cast takes a look at their favorite super-heroes. Lisa attempts to be Wonder Woman, but isn't very effective.

12. The Not-So-Fair Show

Aired: 7/28/1982

Real People will not be seen at this time because we couldn't find any. In its place, we present the following unfair program. The cast complains about everything that is unfair with the world in 1982. To add insult to injury, the Unfairy Godmother stops by.

13. Growing Up

Aired: 8/4/1982

My Three Sons of Frankenstein will not be seen at this time so that we may present... Christine tells us about all of her greatest fears. In the sketches, the cast talks about the pros and cons of getting older.