Two and a Half Men - Season 7

First aired: 9/21/2009 22 episodes

Charlie’s romantic past catches up to him, Alan’s financial woes deepen, and Jake’s teenage years bring a new level of mischief and mayhem.

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Episodes

1. 818-JKLPUZO

Aired: 9/21/2009

Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

2. Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Aired: 9/28/2009

When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

3. Mmm, Fish. Yum.

Aired: 10/5/2009

Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

4. Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Aired: 10/12/2009

Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

5. For the Sake of the Child

Aired: 10/19/2009

Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

6. Give Me Your Thumb

Aired: 11/2/2009

Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

7. Untainted by Filth

Aired: 11/9/2009

Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

8. Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Aired: 11/16/2009

While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

9. Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Aired: 11/23/2009

While Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.

10. That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"

Aired: 12/7/2009

Chelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.

11. Warning, It's Dirty

Aired: 12/14/2009

Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.

12. Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Aired: 1/11/2010

Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

13. Yay, No Polyps!

Aired: 1/18/2010

Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

14. Crude and Uncalled For

Aired: 2/1/2010

Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

15. Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

Aired: 2/8/2010

Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

16. Tinkle Like a Princess

Aired: 3/1/2010

Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

17. I Found Your Moustache

Aired: 3/8/2010

Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

18. Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Aired: 3/22/2010

Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

19. Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

Aired: 4/12/2010

Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

20. I Called Him Magoo

Aired: 5/10/2010

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

21. Gumby with a Pokey

Aired: 5/17/2010

Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

22. This Is Not Gonna End Well

Aired: 5/24/2010

Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.