Aired: 12/1/2011
I can’t raise my hand. I’m allergic to effort.
Aired: 12/8/2011
Magazines are sooo heavy. Especially the ones with pictures of fat people.
Aired: 12/15/2011
Can’t sleep? Count sheepskin boots.
Aired: 12/22/2011
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house… I was shuffling around chain smoking and trying on different shoes.
Aired: 1/6/2012
War – what is it good for? Cute uniforms.
Aired: 1/12/2012
She’s a rock star of David.
Aired: 1/19/2012
It’s freezing cold under all these layers.
Aired: 1/26/2012
Sing along! Actually no, just find my phone.
Aired: 2/2/2012
Start the morning with a gallon of joe.
Aired: 2/9/2012
It’s always the bodyguard you least suspect.
Aired: 2/17/2012
I fought the law and the law was a jerk face.
Aired: 2/23/2012
Is this the duckface of a criminal?
Aired: 3/8/2012
Mary-Kate deals with life in the slammer.
Aired: 3/15/2012
Mary-Kate loves shiny appliances! And by that she means sweaty laborers.
Aired: 3/22/2012
Mary-Kate and Bodyguard may have effed up and effed.
Aired: 4/1/2012
Butler stays abreast of Maggie Smith’s love life.
Aired: 4/5/2012
Mary-Kate goes to sleep to the soothing sounds of a yelling professor.
Aired: 4/12/2012
Mary-Kate sabotages Professor in front of the school board.
Aired: 4/19/2012
First one to fall asleep gets a hand in warm Pellegrino.
Aired: 4/26/2012
Take once per day with a picture of food.
Aired: 5/3/2012
Mary-Kate’s cat meows out against drugs.
Aired: 5/10/2012
Mary-Kate challenges Bodyguard to some 1am Pictionary.
Aired: 5/24/2012
When Maggie Smith’s teacup goes handle-less, everyone’s a suspect.
Aired: 5/31/2012
Mary-Kate gets lost indoors and has to crack out her survival skills.
