Aired: 1/31/2010
I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.
My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.
Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.
I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.
Aired: 2/8/2010
Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.
Aired: 3/1/2010
I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.
I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.
I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.
Aired: 3/13/2010
I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.
Aired: 4/4/2010
I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.
I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.
Aired: 4/11/2010
Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.
I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.
Aired: 4/18/2010
It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.
But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!
Aired: 4/26/2010
Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!
Aired: 4/29/2010
A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!
Aired: 5/3/2010
Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.
Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?
