The Chaser's War on Everything - Season 2

The Chaser's War on Everything - Season 2

First aired: 3/28/2007 26 episodes
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Episodes

Episode 13

13. Episode 39

Aired: 6/20/2007

* Intro Joke; Disclaimer: Some of the shots in the opening credits may have been set up. * Change of names; Craig - Libby Gore, Chris - Lisa Oldfield, Julian - Zoe Sheridan, Chas - Mary Moody * Intro; Today Tonight on The Chaser's fake scenes, James Packer's wedding. * Stunt; Julian using a mobile billboard to advertise "End Mobile Billboards Now!". * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Talking to his doctor about herpes * Pursuit Trivia; New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark o According to the Book of Revelation, what is the Number of the Beast? Answer: Six Six Six (did not answer). o How many states are there in Australia Helen's Answer: Six (correct). * Stunt; Chas taking part in "Pedestrian rage" instead of Road rage (which involved Chas running around with a car parts attached to his body) * Stunt; Book fans dressing up as their favourite objects or characters from their books. o Donna Hay cookbook: Some of her recipes and pieces of food. o Stephen Hawking book: Pretending to have Lou Gehrig's Disease which included sitting in wheelchairs with heads back and to one side. o The Secret book: Dressing up as a crackpot expert (in white straitjackets). * If Life Were a Musical; Booking a holiday to India at Flight Centre. * The Fixers; Packer media empire, treating Adrian McKenzie as the new James Packer. Paul Keating, Julian asking him if he wanted to star in his new musical "Kevin Rudd the Musical". * Ad/Trailer; The new "Battered Sav Supreme" pizza available at Vomino's Pizza (Parody of Domino's Pizza). * Nut Job of the Week; Richard Cohen trying to turn gay people straight which included Chas and Chris trying it out on a gay man for real. * Ad/Trailer; The Crazy Warehouse Guy documentary. * Ad Road Test o The promo where people make lists on the bus for the Seven Network game show The Rich List. o The Riva Instant Coffee advertisement where people put on a dance routine using trolleys in a supermarket.

Episode 14

14. Episode 40

Aired: 9/5/2007

* Intro Joke; First human to catch horse flu: Matt Shirvington. * Intro; APEC Summit in Sydney, incorrect White House press releases o Stunt; New uniforms for APEC leaders o Stunt; Replacing Australian animals in the zoo o Stunt; Glorifying APEC security measures (including doing checks on a Melbourne tram and in Hungry Jacks toilets) * Ad/Trailer; The Horse Flu Handicap horse race at Phlegmington (featured horse flu related names for the horses racing) * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Talking to his doctor about his wife lactating apple cider * Stunt; Sneaking weapons into prison * Song; APEC protester (parody of "Subterreanean Homesick Blues" by Bob Dylan) * Stunt; Andrew Hansen as a performer on Thank God You're Here * Ad/Trailer; "Dicko" (Parody of Sicko) * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week; Lesson 21: Things learned during the break which featured apologising to an actor who was called a pedophile, Matell toys made with lead paint, on board Kitty Hawk, upcoming election stories, J.K. Rowling story rip-off o Anna Coren's Segue of the Week; Macquarie Bank to Harry Potter * Ad/Trailer; The new Australian WorkChoices advertisements * The Fixers; Kevin Rudd (following him around with a stripper), different versions of the "Kevin 07" t-shirts * Song; "Where's My E?" (about drug use by players in the NRL mainly Andrew Johns and is a parody of "That's My Team" NRL Theme Song]] * Conclusion; Fake incorrect White House press releases * Stunt; Julian driving around Sydney in a tank including crushing a car

Episode 15

15. Episode 41

Aired: 9/12/2007

Featuring the now infamous APEC stunt which made headlines around the world and landed the Chaser team in legal trouble. * Intro Joke; Special Guest: "Pavarotting" * Intro; APEC, Dryzabone Jackets, George W. Bush's speech mistakes o Stunt; Using a fake Canadian Motorcade to transport Chas dressed up as Osama Bin Laden into the APEC restricted zone o Stunt; Running around the streets of Sydney wearing cardboard Canadian cars o Intro (continued); Shots of The Chaser standing with world leaders on the steps of the Sydney Opera House o Stunt; Are RSL's harder to get into than APEC? (Involves attempting to get into RSL's with APEC ID's) o Stunt; Chas ringing up a talkback radio station posing as someone else complaining about The Chaser o Intro (continued); Kevin Rudd impressing the Chinese President Hu Jintao with his knowledge of Mandarin (with The Chasers placing fake subtitles on screen) o Stunt; Public APEC Firework viewing including a firework which spelt out "Screw APEC" * Ad/Trailer; Network Ten, Seriously Desperate (hits back at Ten's show Californication) * If Life were a Musical; Andrew, Chris and Chas singing to a University student proclaiming their love for her * Stunt; Moving house by transporting possessions via a bicycle courier and then a public bus * Discussion; Using clown doctors when dealing with people putting down their pets and people on death row * Ad/Trailer; Emo laundry powder (parody of Omo) * A Message from Osama Bin Laden; Peter Beattie's departure, Chas dressing up as him * The Fixers o Horse Flu: Using a pantomime horse in a horse race o China's Evil President: Getting Chinese officials to pay for bullets beforehand o Foxtel: Andrew Hansen dressed up as Adolf Hitler storming into Foxtel's offices and compaining about the cancellation of one of his shows o Pisshead Troops: Getting politicians to skull long plastic pipes full of beer * Ad/Trailer; Australia Zoo (protecting the Irwin family "species") * Song; "Stairway to Kevin" (parody of Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin) * End Joke; Giving credit to the other nine people who got arrested for involvement in the fake APEC motorcade

Episode 16

16. Episode 42

Aired: 9/19/2007

* Intro Joke; Only 27 minutes to go until Summer Heights High * Change of names; Craig - James Mathison, Chris - Andrew G, Julian - Kyle Sandilands, Chas - Ian "Dicko" Dickson, Andrew - Marcia Hines * Intro; John Howard's poll results * Stunt; Redecorating Malcolm Turnbull's office with John Howard posters * Stunt; Being able to receive free goods and services on your wedding day (which included a free slab of beer, free food, free movie tickets and popcorn, a free jet boat ride, an unreserved table in an upmarket restaurant with a free dessert and a free performance from Kamahl) * Surprise Spruiker; The Royal Australian Navy Base promoting free breast enlargement proccedures * Firth in the USA; Should Muslims live as second class citizens in the United States? * Sketch; Movie roles which Hugh Grant tried out for but didn't get the part. Included movies such as Jerry Maguire, A Few Good Men and Reservoir Dogs * Stunt; Adult Shrek merchandise aimed at kids (included products such as cigarettes and ash trays, beer, heroin and vibrators) * Ad/Trailer; The Comedy Channel's "Fuck-a-thon" (Comedians whose routines are based on saying "Fuck" repeatedly) as well as the "Frankston Fest" (Comedians who make bad taste jokes about Frankston) * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Terrible hair styles * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 22: The Supermenace (the top 3 menaces to society, #3: Drugs, #2: Weather, #1: Asians) * Ad/Trailer; The "JI Extreme" van with built-in terrorist aid features * Ad Road Test; KFC Mashies (where people play finger soccer with the food in a library followed by playing with all kinds of KFC food in a KFC restaurant) * End joke; Playing the credits of The New Inventors

Episode 17

17. Episode 43

Aired: 9/26/2007

* Intro Joke; Now even more silent - Marcel Marceau * Change of names; Craig - Milko, Chris - Kate Richie, Julian - Sally, Chas - Don't Go Alf, Andrew - Quitter * Intro; The Australian Liberal Party dirt file, assuming John Howard is gay, Kevin Rudd and Alexander Downer talking about tax thresholds including Lateline's "other camera" * Stunt; Bring Rob Mills down to Tasmania to see if the Tasmanian premier Paul Lennon minds * Ad/Trailer; Classic Albums - Sounds of the Humpback Whale * Open Mic; Upmarket shopping centre, Target, Woolworths, Westfield Group shopping centre * Stunt; Seeing how many times Chas can complain about his meal at a restaurant and have it taken back * If Life Were a Musical; Chas singing about having all his hair on his body shaved off and not just his face in a Barber shop * Ad/Trailer; A Ingmar Bergman directed in-flight safety video, followed up by a review of it by David Stratton and Margaret Pomeranz from At the Movies * The Lab; This weeks category: Cosmetics - featuring various gels and creams (also featuring a scene with Julian dressing up as a primary school student and going to school due to the effects of an anti-ageing cream product) * Song; "Ass Sol" by Sol Trujillo (directed at his management of Telstra and a parody of the Denis Leary song "Asshole") * The Fixers o Mime: A mimed funeral of Marcel Marceau) o Kevin Rudd Asking him if he can speak Chinese and calling him a smart arse in Mandarin o Jetstar: Offering passengers safety ticket upgrades, parachutes and helmets * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; Now in the words of Marcel Marceau, Silence

Episode 18

18. Episode 44

Aired: 10/3/2007

* Intro Joke; On hunger strike for Burma - Isabelle Caro * Change of names; Craig - Sporty Chaser, Chris - Posh Chaser, Julian - Scary Chaser, Chas - Baby Chaser, Andrew - Sporty-ish Chaser * Intro; AFL Grand Final celebrations, Australian citizenship test o Stunt; How many Australian nationals could pass the new citizenship test? * Stunt; Showing prospective lessees around increasingly unsuitable rooms for rent * Ad/Trailer; Stynx deodorant * Stunt; Julian pretending to be an inspector and going around a carpet warehouse sale, putting up signs advertising excessive discounts * Ad/Trailer; The World's Most Inconvenient Interviews 4 * Discussion; Israel's kosher mobile phone plans * Ad/Trailer; "Jewcy" Rabbi Phone Chatline * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 23: When the Cupboard's Bare. How to dredge up news stories from nowhere including reports on a bingo hall which banned patrons from bringing in dogs, a pony that watches TV, illegal trade in shopping trolleys and a woman who plans to have eleven children o Anna Coren's Meaningless Gibberish of the Week; Bizarre intro to a report on corporate law * Ad/Trailer; P&OD Cruises * Stunt; Trying to scare away tourists from climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge on the grounds that it is a sacred site for white people * Song; Newtown (a satire on Tim Freedman) * The Fixers; John Laws cash for comment disclosures, Burma * Stunt; Trying to hold a rave in a clothing store * End joke; Fatboy Slim tour dates

Episode 19

19. Episode 45

Aired: 10/10/2007

* Intro Joke; Estimated number of Britney jokes in this episode - 37 * Change of names; Craig - Hugh Laurie, Chris - Robert Sean Leonard, Julian - Jesse Spencer, Chas - Omar Epps, Andrew - Lisa Edelstein * Intro; New Tasmanian pulp mill, Hillsong controversy * Stunt; Craig posing as a courier and trying to deliver dangerous or unpleasant items to public buildings, such as live animals and a dummy bomb * Ad/Trailer; Jeff Buckley - The Ultimate Collection * Stunt; What is the most minor disability Chas can claim to have in order to get a disabled - only seat on public transport? * If Life Were a Musical; Applying for a driving license * Ad/Trailer; Albino Man * Citizens' Infringement Officer; Standing on the wrong side of an escalator * Election Watch; The African Immigration Experience * The Fixers o Mr. Potato Head: Following a news story earlier in the week where Sydney Airport detained a passenger trying to smuggle drugs inside a Mr. Potato Head figure o Kerry Packer: Involving his family flouting the hosepipe ban by buying in water from a third - party supplier o The Homeless: Homeless people wearing a poker machine on their body for people to play then "guilt" them to give the money back because they "stole" from a homeless person * Ad/Trailer; Four Corners - Special report on hearse drag races * Ad Road Test o Uncle Toby's Oat Brits (offering an oat - based breakfast cereal to cafe patrons); o The Foxtel cable ad where people travel by rolling everywhere * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "We'll catch you again at Hillsong this Sunday ... oh, what a giveaway!"

Episode 20

20. Episode 46

Aired: 10/17/2007

* Pre-show warning - The show may be offensive to Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders (A common warning on the ABC; in some indigenous cultures, death is taboo) * Intro Joke; Tonight's episode paid for by the Exclusive Brethren * Change of names; Craig - Laurie Oakes, Chris - Jim Middleton, Julian - Glenn Milne, Chas - Paul Bongiorno, Andrew - Michelle Grattan * Intro; John Howard and Kevin Rudd election promises as well as debates and slogans * Stunt; Craig dressing up as Emmett "Doc" Brown from Back to the Future and offering John Howard the chance to go back in time in a De Lorean DMC-12 and undo some of his decisions * Ad/Trailer; Hocktober: A radio program based around the antics of Workplace Relations Minister Joe Hockey. * Open Mic; Railway station, Karaoke at Woolworths * Stunt; Chas taking naps in public when he is forced to wait for goods and services * Ad/Trailer; Cats the movie as directed by Ken Loach * Pursuit Trivia; Joe Hockey * Election Watch; Aboriginal reconciliation * Ad/Trailer; Kevin Rudd election ad in which he admits he steals John Howard's ideas * The Fixers o Peter Garrett: Trying to get him to re-sing his Midnight Oil songs with a band The Chaser supplied o Rip-off memorabilia: Stealing items from the North Queensland Cowboys NRL team at the airport o Skin cancer: Promoting a coffin which has been fitted out as a tanning booth o Identity theft: Stealing the identity of an ANZ security manager at the identity theft conference. * Song; "The Eulogy Song", featuring references to deceased celebrities and how they were disliked when they were alive but treated like "top blokes" once they died * End joke; Radiohead offer

Episode 21

21. Episode 47

Aired: 10/24/2007

* Intro Joke; Special guest worm: Richard Pratt * Change of names; Craig - John Howard, Chris - Kevin Rudd, Julian - Bob Brown, Chas - Mark Vaile, Andrew - Lyn Allison * Intro; No worm on the show tonight, televised election debate, election soundbites o Stunt; Dressing up as white rabbits and following John Howard around, holding up signs for election issues such as "AFRICANS" and "ECONOMY" that he could "pull out of a hat" in order to win * Stunt; Craig parking in the middle of the supermarket while he does his shopping, pretending that the car is a raffle prize for charity * Ad/Trailer; Liberal Party election ad - If Labour wins, 100% of ACTU officials will be trade union members * Sketch; Japanese TV * Sketch; Chris taking showers and washing his car with the water stored inside a pet camel's hump, in order to beat the drought * Election Watch; Unions * The Fixers o Oversize popcorn: Walking into a cinema with oversized boxes of popcorn ranging from 1 - 2m high o Robert McClelland: Julian interrupting McClelland's speech at the University of Sydney and saying that the floor cannot take any questions today because answers may reflect Labour policy * If Life Were a Musical; Serenading a woman who lent Andrew an umbrella in the rain * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 24: Attitude. o Anna Coren's Meaningless Gibberish of the Week: Double Standards * Ad/Trailer; Parody of Kevin Rudd and John Howard's "turning off the TV" election ads on YouTube, where Andrew begins to sing a new verse to "The Eulogy Song" (about David Hookes) but is cut off in the same style as the ads * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And remember, up next: the worm decides the outcome of Summer Heights High!"

Episode 22

22. Episode 48

Aired: 10/31/2007

* Intro Joke; Sporting event no one cares about: Boston Red Sox 4, Colorado Rockies 3 * Intro; Family First Party candidate accused of taking pornographic photos of himself, cabinet divisions over Kyoto, Kevin Rudd on Facebook, expulsions from the Labour Party o Stunt; Showing up at Kevin Rudd's house for a sleepover, saying that as his Facebook friends he should let them stay the night o Stunt; Pretending to read Peter Costello's mind via "thought bubbles" * Ad/Trailer; A Convenient Cause * Stunt; Putting WorkChoices advertising stickers on everything in a supermarket, including the employees * Sketch; Face of Jesus seen in a toilet bowl * Stunt; Andrew having conversations while turning his back on the other person, to see if this works as well as it does in soap operas * Election Watch; The Grey Vote * Citizens' Infringement Officer; People wearing "apparel" on a nudist beach (such as watches, jewellery and baseball caps) * Stunt; "The Hassler Challenge" - Dressing up as various street vendors/advertisers, trying to make one passerby stop for all five of them * The Fixers o Political advertising: Liberal Party parody of the 1980s AIDS awareness campaign with the Grim Reaper o Funny church signs: Putting up catchy signs outside mosques and synagogues o Julia Gillard: Dressing up as Karl Marx and trying to hug her, asking her to "embrace Communism" * Stunt; "Streaking" fully clothed at nudist events * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "Just a reminder. If you're over 18 and haven't enrolled to vote yet, bad luck, you're too late, because John Howard changed the rules!"

Episode 23

23. Episode 49

Aired: 11/7/2007

* Intro Joke; Late scratching from this week's show: Charles Firth * Change of names; Craig - Master O'Reilly, Chris - Purple Moon, Julian - Mahler, Chas - Zipping, Andrew - Mr Ed * Intro; National Party members going rollerskating, interest rate rise, controversial comments made by Peter Garrett o Stunt; Barricading the house of Glenn Stevens, governor of the Reserve Bank o The Soundbite Challenge; New segment where The Chaser counts up how many times a politician has repeated the same word or soundbite in one press conference. 10 uses of the word "jocular" by Peter Garrett. o Stunt; Telling jokes to Steve Price to find out if he has any sense of humour at all * Stunt; Dumping various items of junk in a modern art gallery and passing them off as new exhibits * Ad/Trailer; Bunnings Warehouse 1: Takeover of small businesses * Stunt; Trying to bribe people on the street to vote for the Labour Party * Ad/Trailer; Geraldine Doogue emulating Britney Spears * What You Missed on Cable; Paranormal TV including Dead Famous, Most Haunted and Derek Acorah * If Life Were a Musical; Gang warfare (à la West Side Story) * The Fixers o Media scrums: Addressing a question to Julia Gillard by way of a remote controlled robot o Union bosses: Going trick-or-treating dressed as union bosses, to see how scary they really are * Ad/Trailer; Bunnings Warehouse 2: Too busy making commercials to provide any customer service * Stunt; Andrew dressing as Where's Wally? and checking himself into a lost property office * Sketch; Chris paying for live musical performances and podcasts on the train, because he doesn't have an iPod * Andrew Hansen's Closing Comment; "And as always, I'd like to leave you with a funny quip, but unfortunately our writers have gone on strike."

Episode 24

24. Episode 50

Aired: 11/14/2007

* Intro Joke; There's a Supreme Court injunction against this gag * Change of names; Craig - Defecting to Nine, Chris - Defecting to Seven, Julian - Defecting to Understanding 50 Ads, Chas - Defecting to Ten, Andrew - Defecting to SBS * Intro; Election campaign launches and slogans, people falling asleep at the sight of John Howard * Stunt; Craig posing as an outdoor portrait artist and demanding large amounts of money for drawing stick figures of people * Ad/Trailer; Least Favourite Things * Open Mic; QANTAS terminal * Stunt; Chas requesting a doggy bag for a very small amount of leftovers in a restaurant * Clive the Slightly-Too-Loud Commuter; Discussing a plan to murder his mother * Ad/Trailer; Elizabeth: The Golden Age with Bob Dylan taking Cate Blanchett's role as Elizabeth I of England (a reference to Blanchett playing Dylan in the film I'm Not There) * Election Watch; The Environment * The Fixers; o John Edward: Dressing up as the Ghostbusters and confronting Edward with a "bullshit meter" o Smoking: Julian pretending to be a terminally ill patient and asking people if they recognize him from the warning pictures on cigarette packets * What Have We Learned From Current Affairs This Week?; Lesson 25: Hiding bad acting, Lesson 26: Product placement, "Highly dubious reenactment" of the footage The Chaser shot at Today Tonight before being issued with a court injunction o Anna Coren's Segue of the Week; From the Melbourne Cup to a boy band * If Life Were a Musical; Craig applying to a talent agent with his terrible singing * Ad Road Test o The Loctite superglue ad where a man is glued to the ceiling by the soles of his shoes o Novotel commercial featuring wild animals checking into a hotel