Linda Green - Season 1

First aired: 10/30/2001 10 episodes
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Episodes

Episode 1

1. Twins

Aired: 10/30/2001

Linda's latest relationship has gone sour in a big way. There's only one thing for it, she chucks nasty Neil out of her flat and out of her life. But Linda's astonished to see Neil roll up back at her flat, bold as brass. She's just giving him a piece of her mind when he lifts up his top to reveal no tattoo. This isn't Neil at all. This is his identical twin brother, Tom. Before she knows where she is, Linda is embarking on an affair with the second Cherry brother. Tom is everything Neil is not. He's kind, he's loving and he's generously endowed in the trouser department! Tom can't get enough of Linda. If he's not kissing her, he's hugging her, or sending her bouquet after bouquet of flowers. When he turns up at the garage and plants a smacker on her lips it's no surprise – until he reveals his tattoo and Linda realises that this is Neil. He warns her off Tom, claiming he doesn't want to see him get hurt. It's Michelle's birthday and the gang head out to the club. Jimmy's new girlfrien

2. Pete

Aired: 11/6/2001

Linda's old school friend, Pete has broken up with his girlfriend Bev and he's in the depths of depression about it. Jimmy and Darren think he's being a pushover. She's spent all his money and got to stay living in his flat, but he loves her so he lets her get away with it. Linda has taken pity on him and agreed to let him sleep on her sofa. Pete's a bit of an old hippy. His hair is long and lank, so Linda and Michelle decide what he needs is a makeover. They give him a hair cut and the transformation is astonishing. His new hair lifts an enormous weight off his shoulders, his mood lightens and Linda gets a glimpse of his tremendously toned body. She begins to see Pete in a whole new light. Finally one evening Linda suggests that instead of sleeping on the sofa Pete shares her bed. She makes the invite sound very innocent, but rushes off to get herself looking gorgeous. She waits in bed for him while he smokes, snacks, and finally drops off in front of the TV. By the time he comes to b

3. Lesbians

Aired: 11/13/2001

Michelle and Linda are getting ready for a night on the town. Linda is feeling good and convinced she's irresistible. Naturally it is Michelle who catches Darren's eye, and the two have to banish Linda downstairs while they indulge in a few moments of passion! Linda can't believe her eyes when six Greek gods walk into the club. She's all ready to have the night of her life. Unfortunately the men all gather adoringly around Michelle and Linda can't get a look in. The next day at work Linda tries to flirt with the punters, but just receives the brush off. In desperation, she asks Fizz if any of his friends fancy her, again she gets a no. She can't even get a jump out of Jimmy because he's happy with his new girlfriend, Siobhan. Linda decides it's time to turn over a new leaf. She's giving up men, she's going to find herself a woman. She persuades Michelle to come with her to a ‘Singles Mingle' night in a lesbian bar. This succeeds in getting Darren all fired up again, and once again Lind

4. Ricky

Aired: 11/20/2001

There's a new boy at Craven Lane Motors, and he really is a boy. Ricky is only 18 - but he's caught Linda's eye, and she's caught his. Linda decides she's had one too many unsatisfactory men her own age, and it's time to try something new. Once Linda gets her hands on Ricky she finds out that younger men have their own disadvantages. Ricky is a virgin, and goes off on a hair trigger! Undeterred, Linda decides to embark on a training regime. Before too long she has moulded Ricky into the perfect lover. Plus, he seems quite happy to do the washing up! However, all's not perfect in paradise. Jimmy tells Linda that everyone's laughing at her. And when she takes Ricky round to meet her parents he clearly has more in common with her little brother than with Linda. His conversation is driving Linda up the wall, and Linda realises Ricky has to go. The only trouble is that Ricky adores Linda. If she dumps him she'll break his heart and she'll be referred to as ‘that bitch' for ever after. She p

5. Rest In Peace

Aired: 11/27/2001

Debbie Mott has died. She was at school with Linda and the gang, but none of them can really remember who she was. Darren racks his brains and recalls talking to her once. She was nice and had a dog called Southampton. He decides to write to her family. Linda suggests they all go to the funeral instead. When they arrive at the church they are offered the choice of either a keyring or a pendant with Debbie Mott's picture on. Darren realises he's got the wrong girl and they all get an attack of the giggles. At the wake, Michelle tries to find out all about Debbie. She is disturbed when she discovers that she lived at home and didn't really have any friends. Michelle is shaken up and starts visiting Debbie's mum, pretending they were close friends at school. She makes up stories about how important Debbie was to her life. Eventually Debbie's mum rumbles what's going on and has to explain to Michelle that just because Debbie was a solitary soul, it doesn't mean she wasn't happy. Michelle a

6. Victim Support

Aired: 12/4/2001

Linda staggers home with the gang after a big night out, only to find that her flat has been ransacked. All kinds of electrical equipment has gone, and a bag with keys in. Linda asks Jimmy to stay the night, but Darren leaps into action, telling Linda to stay at his place while he and Jimmy change all the locks. Jimmy tells Darren he blames the people Linda meets in internet chatrooms for the burglary. Darren is intrigued and excited by the idea. Suddenly, a woman, Norma, bursts in waving police ID. She has a good look around the flat and questions the boys who assume she's a detective. When she catches up with Linda she asks for a list of all the men she's been involved with in the past year. She's amazed when the list comes to fifteen! Norma keeps popping up, asking everyone Linda knows about the burglary and filling Linda's head with frightening statistics. She even turns up at the club one night. Unfortunately her dancing dislodges her ID and when Michelle picks it up she realises

7. Sexual Harassment

Aired: 12/11/2001

Syd's divorce has come through and he's celebrating by coming over all touchy feely with all the girls at Craven Lane Motors. All of them except Linda that is. When Linda suggests they get together to put a stop to it, she discovers that no-one wants to get on the wrong side of him since there's a big training bonus in the offing for one member of staff. Linda moans to her mum and dad about being left out of the groping. Suddenly, Iris flies off the handle. She attacks Frank for everything he is and everything he stands for, and asks Linda if she can come and stay at hers. Bemusedly Linda agrees. Iris insists on watching blue movies with the gang, and refuses to speak to Frank even when he serenades her over the phone. Eventually Linda persuades Iris to admit what's been going on. Iris has set her heart on becoming a ballroom dancer. She's secretly been taking lessons and hopes to go professional. Meanwhile, she decides to confront Syd about the lack of attention. He admits he can't gr

8. Fitness Freak

Aired: 12/18/2001

Linda is delighted when she heads out one morning, and watches a fine figure of a man jogging by. She starts deliberately leaving home as he jogs past, and exercising in the front garden. It does the trick, he introduces himself. Karl is in training for a 100 mile triathlon. Linda embarks on a fitness regime to try and impress him. Darren and Jimmy won't admit to being unfit, so end up roped into attending the circuit training sessions Karl runs. Of course they are rubbish, but Jimmy refuses to give up and let Karl believe he's better than him. Everything is going perfectly until Linda tries to lure Karl into the bedroom. He tells her he can't risk losing his competitive edge. Michelle lets slip to Jimmy and Darren that there's been no bedroom action. The two delight in teasing Karl while he tries to coax them towards fitness. Meanwhile Frank teases Linda about all the things she misses out on because of her new regime. Finally the triathlon is over, and Linda lures superfit Karl under

9. Two Dads

Aired: 12/18/2001

There's much excitement in the Green household as the family prepare to welcome Linda's ‘Uncle Vic' back from the Far East. When he turns up he and Linda immediately hit it off, they are finishing each other's sentences, and Iris realises, with horror, how alike they look. In fact, the only ones who remain blissfully unaware are Vic and Linda. The following day Vic pays a visit to Linda at work. He is puzzled by why Iris and Frank have started avoiding him. It's only when he goes to leave that Linda notices their reflection in the mirror and the startling resemblance between them. She rushes to the court to demand the truth from her mum. Iris admits she did have a one night stand with Vic. Linda gets drunk one night as she performs at the club, and announces she has to know one way or the other. The family formulate a plan. Katy learnt that if you can roll your tongue, at least one of your parents will be able to. Iris can't, Frank can and Vic can't. If Linda is Frank's daughter, she'l

10. Motherhood

Aired: 1/3/2002

Michelle and Darren make a big announcement. They are getting married, and they are also expecting another baby. Linda is stunned, and none to pleased, but the whole thing gets Jimmy thinking. Time is slipping away and he starts to wonder if he's going to have time to have kids, maybe he and Linda ought to do it now. Linda has no desire to have kids, but with all the talk she starts to wonder. She decides the only way to be sure is to give it a try. She gets a shop dummy of a small child, dresses it up and names it Nick. Immediately she and Jimmy start to disagree over how to look after kids. He doesn't like the name, he doesn't like the clothes, he doesn't like the way Linda spoils him! One night at the club Jimmy finds Nick backstage with Linda. She tells him she's pretending they've had a row and he's walked out. As he protests that that would never happen it turns into a real row. It escalates until he tells her she can't sing, and gets a smack in the mouth for his trouble! Eventua