The Anna Nicole Show - Season 2

First aired: 3/2/2003 13 episodes

Episodes

1. Season 2 Premiere

Aired: 3/2/2003

Anna chooses between five bachelors. * * * In this live and supersized season premiere, which is hosted by Joe Millionaire butler Paul Hogan, Anna has to choose between five bachelors. The bachelors are Jeff Hawkins, Brook Pemberton, Frank Miniaci, Mark Norris, and Mitchell Olson. The episode chronicles the search for the bachelors, Anna's date with them, and Howard putting each of them through a lie detector test. Anna narrows it down to three bachelors, eliminating Mitchell and Frank. Each remaining bachelor gets 30 seconds to state his case to Anna. Anna makes her decision: Mark.

2. Nature Calls

Aired: 3/9/2003

Anna and company go camping * * * Daniel doesn't want to be part of the show anymore. He says he doesn't want to be famous. Howard says they should mention it to Anna while they are camping. Anna, Daniel, Kim, and Howard are warned of the dangers of their camping experience. Howard and Kim leave to get supplies... Anna puts together a potty, and then starts a fire. Anna and Daniel discuss how he feels about doing the show. Daniel confesses he doesn't want to do it, and Anna says that's okay, all he had to do is say so. Anna freaks out when she hears coyotes, and retreats to her tent. Howard and Kim return, and they all roast weiners and sing a campfire song. Then they go to sleep. During the night, Anna yells for Howard and tells him that ""something is out here."" Ranger Steve returns to their camp site and takes the gang fishing. Daniel catches the first fish, a very small one. Anna rushes Howard to get the fish unhooked so they can throw it back. Anna calls Daniel a fish murderer, the

3. Shrew's the Boss

Aired: 3/16/2003

Anna sets her sights on the acting world. * * * Anna gets a call from Cedric the Entertainer asking her to be a guest on his TV show. She practices her lines for the show with Kim and Howard. Then we flash back to when Anna got information from an acting coach that sends her Shakespeare literature to practice - she reads the lines with Howard. In the lines, she must slap the person who is reading with her, and Howard got tired of that fast. She gets her make-up artist, Angie, to practice the lines with her. It doesn't turn out well when Anna slaps Angie (which is a little off and turned out to be more of a scratch), and Angie calls her a b****. Anna is visited by Dr. Amazing and an astrologer, Gemini. Dr. Amazing hypnotizes Anna to help her remember her lines, and make her feel better about acting. Anna prepares as well as she could, so she attends class. Her partner is actor Danny Bonaduce. Anna and Danny are put on the spot when they must practice their lines in front of an acting cl

4. To Live and Diaper in L.A.

Aired: 3/30/2003

Anna Nicole injures her knee; and trades places with a waitress. * * * The first part of this episode is a mock E! True Hollywood Story that chronicles the gang going skating then Anna falling and hurting her knee. Anna gets frustrated about being inside all the time, so Howard and Kim take her to a restaurant in town. Anna decides she wants to trade places with the waitress at the restaurant. And so Anna becomes a waitress. After her shift, she can't go home - she has to take care of the children of the waitress, and the waitress gets a taste of how Anna Nicole's life is. In the end, Anna realizes she misses her own life.

5. Restoration Hard Way

Aired: 4/6/2003

Anna decorates her neighbor's room, while they decorate hers. * * * Anna trades spaces with her neighbors, Cris and Wes. Anna wants them to decorate her room of choice, and she wants to decorate theirs. The neighbors hire a designer, while Anna hires a designer of her own -- who just happens to be a dominatrix. Anna decides to male her neighbor's room a ""sex room."" After shopping for the necessary items, Anna, Howard, and Kim get to work. They clear out the room and start the transformation. They paint all the walls black. Over at Anna's house, the neighbors use feng shui to decorate the room. Finally, it's time for the rooms to be revealed. Anna loves her room. Wes liked the room Anna had decorated, but after some discussion Cris decides it's best for them to redo the room (because it faces the street, and may be offensive to some people).

6. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

Aired: 4/13/2003

Anna goes on a date with the bachelor she chose in episode 14; Howard visits his parents. * * * Mark, from the season two premiere, takes Anna on a date in another town, which means they stay overnight (separately). He arrives to take her out in an eighteen-wheeler, which Anna is not happy about. On the long drive, Mark tries to draw Anna out, but all she wants to do is sleep. Anna is wide awake when a cop pulls Anna and Mark over. After a lousy ride, Anna decides to have a good time. The next day, Anna and Mark enjoy breakfast and go to a rodeo. When Mark and Anna leave the stands they run into some cowboys. They convince her to ride a horse. As they ride, the cowboys sweet talks Anna, and asks her to spend the evening with them. She, with sadness, sends Mark packing. Anna enjoys a fun evening with the cowboys. Meanwhile, Howard goes to visit his parents. He upsets his mother by cursing, is asked to go to the dentist, and get a physical.

7. Lipstick Thespians

Aired: 4/20/2003

Anna returns to the film industry in the movie Wasabi Tuna. * * * Anna Nicole gets a script for an action-comedy movie called Wasabi Tuna, where she plays herself. When she found out her co-stars were Jason London, Antonio Sabato Jr., and Tim Meadows, she had Howard set up a meeting to seal the deal. Howard agrees to dress up as Anna for the movie. The producers ask Anna to attend a casting call for Anna drag queens. After Howard sees all the drag queens dressed as Anna, Howard has second thoughts about it. Anna is excited because it is the first shoot day for the movie. Anna gets up early and gets into her make-up, but she ends up waiting hours for them to call her to the set. When they get to the set they have problems with words Anna can and cannot use. Hours later, Anna is still waiting to go into make-up and shoot her scenes. Howard and Anna fight over what to do with Howard's penis when he wears the dress. The time has come for Howard to dress as Anna Nicole. They cut his hair, p

8. Courting Disaster

Aired: 4/27/2003

Anna becomes a judge for the court show Texas Justice; and appears on The Tonight Show. * * * Anna is to make an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, but lost her cowboy boots. So she and the gang pile into the limo and go a western store for some shopping. At the store, they run into Judge Larry Joe Doherty, of the real-life court show Texas Justice. Judge Doherty is in town to hear some cases to see if they could be brought to Texas to appear on the show. He asks Anna to come and hear some cases with him. He says since the cases don't involve money, all she has to do is decide what's fair. Anna appears on The Tonight Show as the easter bunny. She had thought she was going to be a guest. Afterward, she heads over to be a judge with Larry Joe Doherty. Kim is the bailiff and Howard interviews the people after the case is heard. The cases deal with a friend's ""package"" hanging out, make-up, loud parties, and a dog peeing on a plant.

9. Something Trendy This Way Comes

Aired: 5/4/2003

Anna has a gallery showing of her art. * * * Anna reveals her love for painting. So the gang go to get her paintings framed. She is told she could show off her paintings in a gallery. After some thought, Anna decides that a showing of her art may not be a bad idea. Soon, her paintings are priced and hanging on a wall. At the gallery, Anna is greeted by many friendly and familiar faces. Bobby Trendy shows up. He claims that he is just passing by. Howard and Bobby get into an argument, and Bobby leaves. While Bobby is in his car leaving, Howard pounds on his window and yells at him some more.

10. Anna (Palm) Springs into Action

Aired: 5/11/2003

Anna and company go to Palm Springs. * * * People from a website ask Anna and company to go to Palm Springs and judge a body-building contest. She's disappointed when she finds out that the hotel isn't quite up to her standards. They all go out for dinner and drinks and discuss sex. Anna finds an onion in her food and is upset because she is allergic. When they bring her another plate, she finds more onions. Anna hopes the contest will put her in better spirits. Anna gets to meet the guys. She goes back to the hotel to start the contest. She has to ask weird questions and wonders what the contest is all about. She says she has been in Palm Springs for a whole day and hasn't had any fun yet. So she and the contestants have a party. Two women show up and get into the pool with Anna, and their father shows up. The cops show up and shut down the party. Anna wakes up the next morning with a monster hangover and wants to get out of Palm Springs fast, but first she has to finish the contest.

11. Do the Hustler

Aired: 5/18/2003

Larry Flynt asks Anna to direct a photo shoot for his magazine. * * * Anna has dinner with Larry Flynt. They talk about sex, of course. Larry offers her a chance to direct a photo shoot for his magazine. After arriving at the set, Anna discusses things with the photographer and helps the women get dressed. Anna takes pictures of the women, thinking that the women couldn't touch each other or be more alluring. When she finds out they could do more than she thought, she is upset. After discussing this with Clive, the photographer, Anna is given a second chance. This time, she will direct the girls while Clive takes the pictures. Larry was very happy with the pictures. He also asks Anna to invite him over to dinner sometime.

12. Derby Daze

Aired: 5/25/2003

Anna and company go to the Kentucky Derby. * * * Anna is invited to the Kentucky Derby and to a charity event. Anna and Howard start fighting over pictures of hats. On the plane Anna reads a book of lawyer jokes to Howard. Howard is in charge of placing bets for the group. Anna's betting strategy is to bet on almost all the horses. They are told they can't take Sugar Pie to the Derby. Anna is very upset and says she cannot go to the track without Sugar Pie. When things cool down they all, minus Sugar Pie, head off to the Kentucky Derby. Anna sees Larry King, Joey Fatone, and others. Afterwards, at the charity event Anna sees Kid Rock, Latoya Jackson, and Tammy Faye Bakker. Howard meets a woman, Stacy, in the bar, but has to deliver drinks to Anna first. He convinces Anna to go meet Stacy and her mother. On the way back to the room, Anna and Howard have a huge fight. They eventually make up, however.

13. Season Finale

Aired: 6/1/2003

Anna takes her cousin to get a makeover. * * * Shelly, Anna's cousin, come to Los Angeles to visit Anna and get comfort from having problems with her boyfriend. Anna was also not happy - she had just seen an interview of Shelly that she didn't care for. Anna and Shelly fight and Anna makes Shelly apologize. Anna has a very emotional moment talking about how her family treats her. Anna asks Shelly to come back. Anna lets Shelly go anywhere she chooses. Shelly chooses to go to a salon. While Shelly and Kim have their hair colored, Anna gets some hair removed from her forehead. Afterwards, Anna takes Shelly to a tattoo parlor to get her belly button pierced. While at the parlor, they get a call from the salon saying there may be a problem with Shelly's hair. They must rinse her hair immediately. Back at the salon, Shelly's gets her hair cut. Anna then takes Shelly yo get a very expensive dress. Shelly chooses the next stop: a bar, where there is mud wrestling. Anna takes off her dress and